The Spoonman

Never fear, The Spoonman is still a prolific contributor to Atlas Rocked. 

I’m just no longer posting about other topics on *THIS* blog. 

The insightful and incredibly hilarious political commentary can be found at aspirinbetweentheknees.wordpress.com. 

And the hard-hitting, cutting edge sports reporting can be found at www.thesportspin.com (author: J.D. Hollis)

I hope you’ll check out both sites. Thanks for reading! 

In an epic, highly anticipated rematch that had more storylines than a 2-hour Jerry Springer special, the outcome was determined appropriately by just a few dramatic, breathtaking moments.

The Giants and Patriots were locked in a relative stalemate until the final stages of the fourth quarter, when it appeared the Patriots were about to take the upper hand. However, after a few ill-fated Tom Brady passes and an expertly thrown Eli Manning rail shot, the tables were turned. 

The box score won’t lead you to the victor; no, all you’ll see is that, for the most part, the two teams played similar football in almost every respect. At the end of the day, it just came down to big plays in critical situations: The Giants made them, and the Patriots didn’t. Simple as that. 

Key Moments 

• Chase Blackburn redeems himself after getting juked and burned by Aaron Hernandez for a 12-yd TD pass in the 3rd quarter by going up and pulling down a long Tom Brady pass intended for a less-than-100% Rob Gronkowski.

• The very open and typically sure-handed Wes Welker drops a 2nd-down pass in the 4th quarter that could have potentially sealed the deal for the Patriots. 

• The Manning-Manningham connection, a play that was nearly as unbelievable as (and eerily similar to) David Tyree’s helmet grab in the 2007 Super Bowl, sparks an impressive go-ahead drive for the Giants.  

• On the game’s final drive, Aaron Hernandez fails to pull in a spot-on pass from Tom Brady. On the same drive, Deion Branch can’t snag a relatively catchable ball thrown in his direction. 

The game never comes down to one play. But it can come down to a few. And as much as I love to hate him, there’s not much more Tom Brady could have done. He was resilient against a relentless Giants’ pass rush, he scrambled around to extend plays, and he went to the right place with the ball. Even on the Blackburn interception, the match-up was favorable, and the specimen known as Gronk most likely catches that ball (or at least knocks it down) 9 times out of 10. A heated Giselle cut to the heart of the matter, albeit somewhat comically due to her foreign accent: Manning’s receivers stepped up, and Brady’s didn’t. 

Too Much Significance?

The hallmark of the Patriots has long been their ability to execute with robotic precision and consistency. That seemed to be missing Sunday night with the uncharacteristic penalties, mental lapses, and dropped balls. It may have been that some Patriots just attached too much emotional significance to the game. Between just wanting to win, wanting to make up for missing the playoffs in 2008 and exiting the playoffs early in 2009 and 2010, and not wanting to come up short against the Giants for a second time, the cumulative pressure may have gotten to a few players. Ironically, it was Eli Manning and the Giants who exhibited the Patriots-esque cool confidence and detachment. 

Did Gronk Help or Hurt the Patriots?

In the two weeks preceding the Super Bowl, the Patriots handled Gronk’s injury just as you would have expected them to: they were very careful not to say too much one way or the other so the Giants would have to continue to account for him in their practices and preparations. And once the game started, it was clear that the massive tight end was out there primarily to serve as a decoy. He wasn’t running or cutting at full speed, and after a season for the record books, he caught only 2 passes for 26 yards on 3 targets. The strategy seems to have worked, as New England remained in the game against a stellar defense until the clock expired and would have won if the other receivers had made the crucial catches already discussed. It would be unfair to just isolate the jump ball with Blackburn (or even the last pass of the game) and use that to support the argument that his injury significantly hindered the Patriots. 

Playmakers 

The larger problem the Patriots will need to address this off-season is the absence of a big-time playmaker on offense…and defense for that matter. Welker, Hernandez, and Gronkowski are all extremely talented and reliable, but they need to round out their passing attack with a big-bodied burner that can consistently stretch the defense and come up with grabs on down-field bombs. Their defense was statistically abysmal this season, but they have a core to build around with Wilfork and Mayo. And analysts seem to think they have some promising young players in their secondary that can mature and develop.  

What’s Next for the Giants?

The Giants had the elements of a championship squad but needed to address some shortcomings in performance, namely turnovers and play in the second half of both games and the season. Having resolved those issues, the Giants will just need to maintain and repeat going forward. Coughlin will need to continue to bring in players who will both buy into his system and positively contribute. The defense needs to play with intensity all season long. And Eli will need to continue to combine big plays with ball security and good decision-making. 

Tonight is the last debate before the Florida primary, which will be held this coming Tuesday, and heading in, it seems as though Romney has recaptured some momentum. Taking Gingrich to task in Monday night’s debate has helped the former Massachusetts governor to some extent, and he will need to maintain some level of grittiness going forward.

However, he needs to be smart and not go too far with the personal assaults, as he would run the risk of tarnishing his image and turning off voters. They may see him as just another grenade-throwing politician who can’t transcend the typical Washington “neener-neener” BS. 

Also, you can tell that being overly confrontational is not Romney’s preferred operative state. When it comes to the back-and-forth digs, he’s almost like a normally submissive housewife who’s just summoned the courage to “pipe up”: the words and substance are there, but there’s an obvious element of unease to the presentation (in contrast, Gingrich is a salty Waffle House waitress who speaks her mind in a brash, unfiltered manner). If Romney stays out of his comfort zone for too long, he’s liable to have a Buster moment and do something hilarious but also extremely uncomfortable and awkward.

Or have a Black Swan moment and lose himself in his newfound evil powers.

What a great day of football yesterday; I probably only left my couch twice over 8 hours, which is a new record low. And I probably wouldn’t have left at all, but I finally broke the seal after consuming at least 6 Sierra Nevadas. But both games were fantastic, and the stage is now set for a historic rematch between the Giants and Patriots. 

At the end of the day, it occurred to me that the AFC and NFC Championship Games were remarkably similar: grudge matches where the victorious team’s supporting elements ultimately determined the outcome of the game. All year, New England’s strength has been their overpowering offensive attack, but yesterday, their much-maligned defense stepped up and shut down Joe Flacco and the Ravens in those intense closing minutes of the 4th quarter. And in a misty stalemate in San Francisco, the Giants’ special teams unit came through and made two critical plays.

There was also the theme of capitalizing on the opposition’s mistakes. Brady and company clearly had an off day and essentially handed the game to the Ravens. However, Joe Flacco and his crew, given 2 chances to win and 1 chance to tie, just couldn’t make it hurt. On the other side of the country, the Giants turned 49ers’ punt returner Kyle William’s two gaffes into a very meaningful 10 points and trip to the Super Bowl. 

The losing teams need to chin up and walk proud, as they both have much to look forward to. Joe Flacco outplayed Tom Brady, and his performance seems to have garnered him a little bit more respect around the league — not a bad platform from which to start next season, where he will look to solidify his status as a top-tier quarterback. And the 49ers have to be thrilled about what they were able to accomplish this season. In his first year, a dynamic Jim Harbaugh energized the franchise, put a lost Alex Smith back on course, and lead his team to the NFC Championship Game. They’ll certainly have opportunities to redeem themselves, as they don’t seem to have anyone breathing down their necks in the NFC West. 

As for the victors, NFL fans couldn’t ask for a better Super Bowl storyline. Manning, the young Jedi, versus the Sith lords of New England. Will the Giants stay hot and topple a favored Patriots’ squad once again or will Brady and Belichick get sweet, sweet revenge? It’s anybody’s game at this point, but ever since the Giants nearly beat the then-undefeated Packers earlier this year, the parallels between this season and 2007 have been uncanny. 

Newt G. bossed out the South Carolina primary on Saturday, further shaking up an already-dramatic GOP race, and is the currently the man of the moment with his media-b-slapping ways and ability to tap into conservatives’ anti-Obama/left frustrations and angst. But is he the long-term answer for the right? My larger-than-average gut says no.

There’s no doubt Newt is a fighter and a master when it comes to political gamesmanship. And I think he definitely should have a prominent role in the next administration (if Repubs win). However, I’m still backing Romney at this point: he’s a steady, fresh-faced moderate with a record of private sector success and history of successfully reaching across the aisle. I think he can positively differentiate himself from Obama more so than Newt, who’s been a career politician and carries an aire of Washington insider-ness. 

However, Romney is struggling to get himself to the finish line. As I’ve said before, he needs to get more aggressive on tax reform and put a better spin on his personal wealth. He’d also benefit from taking a few pages out of Newt’s playbook. No matter what you throw at the former speaker, he’s unflappable. He also articulates his views not only with tremendous clarity but also in a way that really energizes people. Romney needs to watch some game film and somehow find a way to adopt that same sturdiness and fiery passion. 

The race has moved to Florida, where the next primary will be held Tuesday, January 31st. The action continues tonight with a debate at 9pm on NBC. 

Ok, so I know talking about the GOP primary isn’t “cool” or likely to get me a ton of zOMG reblogs. But the debates have basically turned into a reality series, given their frequency and sexy drama, so I figured I’d give them some approps blogosphere coverage. 

• I’m a Libertarian at heart, so I’m all about Ron Paul. However, we all know he’s never going to win. First of all, he doesn’t even have a shot at nabbing the Republican nomination. Elephants love his tough talk on small government and spending cuts, but they get WAYYY nervous when he talks foreign policy. 

• And to be honest WITCHU, I personally have mixed feelings on his stance. I really dig the idea of maintaining a strong national defense but downsizing our military presence abroad. And I agree in theory that we should abide by the “golden rule” when it comes to dealing with other nations. But, in today’s world, a world that we have in large part created with a haphazard, semi-hypocritical foreign policy, would this type of isolationism work in practice? IDK!!! 

• Second, he’s kind of crotchety, and I’m just not sure he’s polished enough to woo voters in a general election. He’s kind of like your old, brazenly honest grandfather who doesn’t give a shit anymore and says really uncomfortable things at the dinner table. 

• Maybe he should run as a third party candidate??? GASP! 

• Anyway, on to my SECOND CHOICE: Mitt Romney. The guy’s legit. He’s a $$$ boss, and the guy was a freakin’ consultant. For those of you who think consulting is some fluid, esoteric thing — IT’S NOT. Consultants help businesses figure out good solutions to complex problems, using you know, spreadsheets and stuff. 

• I’d rather have a consultant in the White House than a “community organizer”. WTF is that? Channeling Michael Bluth and George, Sr., it sounds like some “new-age, feel-goodery”. 

• BUT MITT, wake up dude. You need to get more aggressive on tax reform. What’s the one thing that all conservatives can rally around? MOTHERF**KING TAX REFORM! If you want to “energize the base” or have people “coalesce” around you, unveil a freaking awesome tax plan that will blow people away.  

• I love when you tout your private sector experience, but at this point, your financial wisdom and expertise need to translate into something concrete that GOPeeps can get excited about! 
• And come on, you need to get smarter/more proactive on the whole “releasing your taxes” issue. Every time it comes up, you act like someone just found out about the frustrating hemorrhoid you’ve been dealing with! With the money and brains you have, and the brains you have AROUND YOU, why aren’t you handling this better?! 

• Romney —> more aggressive on tax reform + better spin on personal wealth and taxes = knockout punch.
• And Newt, gah, Newt. Can’t you see what’s happening here, people? You all are like “oh, I can’t believe John King asked that question first…what? they sat around all day in their production meetings and that was what they came up with?!” It’s a strategy!!! Obama and the Democrats want to run against Newt. He’s an old, stuffy white guy with an airplane’s worth of political baggage. 

• Think about the crap that’s come out on Romney so far; none of it sticks! “Oh, yeah, he created jobs, what an asshole!” — “He’s really wealthy; what a dick!” 
• They know that Newt debates well and is reallyyy good at scolding the media. So that question from John King was an intentional softball, designed to get Newt back in the thick out of it! 

• AND OH, thank you, Herman Cain, for getting back on the trail for absolutely no reason at all. ENDORSING THE PEOPLE??? I’m pretty sure when people started using the phrase “farting in the wind”, this is what they had in mind.